Interesting first chapter, and the MC is pulled into a conflict in (to me) a believable way, in that . I only have two quibbles: "it's" where it should be "it's" and by extension "who's" where it should be "whose." The opening is a bit infodump-y. Maybe some of the info could be summarized and/or woven into the next parts?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2012-04-27 12:53 am (UTC)"it's" where it should be "it's" and by extension "who's" where it should be "whose."
The opening is a bit infodump-y. Maybe some of the info could be summarized and/or woven into the next parts?